show me the way ;

~ 6/18/2005 01:16:00 AM ~

Saturday, June 18, 2005

my kinda liFe!

~ 6/18/2005 12:36:00 AM ~

[jokes!]

JoKes of the niGht~

Joke 1
she's the queen of all i've seen says:
hahah the master of morote haraitoshi!

VJC Judo's Special Technique: Morote Haraitoshi. Shh! Don't Tell Other People. says:
oh here she comes
the queen of morote haraitoshi

she's the queen of all i've seen says:
sensei greet.

VJC Judo's Special Technique: Morote Haraitoshi. Shh! Don't Tell Other People. says:
*bows down* in full respect

DrainEd~ says:
ping shen

she's the queen of all i've seen says:
haha NO CHINESE HERE!
shaf is malay!

DrainEd~ says:
I SAID PING SHEN

VJC Judo's Special Technique: Morote Haraitoshi. Shh! Don't Tell Other People. says:
haha what's ping shen?

DrainEd~ says:
HE CAN CONTINUE BOWING den~

wahahz!! think im mean?!?! yep! im mean!im so mean that im juz average!! waAHahzh!!!
------------------------------------------------------------

Joke2
she's the queen of all i've seen says:
hahah i'll ask Cliff to do it maybe!
anywayy Cliff said u were the better one among the girls!

DrainEd~ says:
ha ha
i noe that..
i invent new throws wan k
i guo ran bu shi lang de xu ming orh

she's the queen of all i've seen says:
hahahaha!
im quite sure he nv saw ur new technique.
if nt he'll probably take dat comment back

DrainEd~ says:
!!!!!!! -_-"
------------------------------------------------------------

Joke3
DrainEd~ says:
cuz u haven got anything to bluff yet?

she's the queen of all i've seen says:
hahaha
have!
like i'll bluff u im gonna treat u!

DrainEd~ says:
r u saying ur a tai jian?

she's the queen of all i've seen says:
huhh? whyy tai jian?

DrainEd~ says:
cuz ur not a MAN of ur word!!!!??
wahahahah!!!

she's the queen of all i've seen says:
haha noooo of cos i am!

haha.. actually i think the thing about being a tai jian cuz of not being a man of ur word is funny!!! im so impressed by myself!!! i tot of it k!!!
on further reading... the noo of cuz i am makes it even funnier!! gd joke gd joke!!!! WAHahahahahZ!!! i hope whoeva is involved do not see this! wahahz!
------------------------------------------------------------

~ 6/17/2005 05:53:00 PM ~

Friday, June 17, 2005

[outing]

went to make ic...
had to be interviewed about the loss of ic..
had a subsidy of $40.. so paid $60

after that went for lunch at suntec's nydc!!!!
there was a bunch of hua chong jc students there.. very noisy.. i recognise one of them.. but i juz cant remember how i knew him..

daddy felt like the oldest there.. cuz the place was mostly occupied by youngters.. he also said that the deco and atmosphere was rite for teens like us...

anw food was ok.. had french garden salad which sounds nice.. but it's only a small bowl consisting of a few leaves of lettuce, strips of carrot and purple colour veggie... ?!?!

had a "destiny child" baked pasta..which i tot did not have enough cheese..

desert was yuumm--myyy!!! "that boney cake".. din see how the name was link.. but it was cake (called UGLY ) with chocolate chip ice cream! and UGLY was warm and fuzzy!! din look ugly to me at all! ahahz..

passed the fountain of wealth.. saw ppl walking round it.. haha.. i've always wanted to do it.. and today i had the chance!!!

u have to walk 3 rounds round it.. with ur right hand touching the water.. while making ur silent wish!

i wished for........ i cant say!! if i say it won't come true rite??!

when we walked back.. there was this notice board with the zodiac signs.. so went to read.. ahha.. mine was like.. for studies.. need this pagoda.. or dragon carp jade... and u can purchase all these feng shui items from the wagon shops there...

so went over to take a look.. den the owner was like taking out everything tt was supposedly meant for dragons (me )...

so yea... bot some stuff la.. ahahz..
well.. i'm kinda doubtful to wad these items can do..
but in a way.. it's ning ke xing qi you?? (lidat isit?)
also quite fun la.. got sth to like "believe" in.. ahhaz..

after tt went to singtel shop at parkway to get sth done..
but din get it done cuz plan cannot be terminated yet? ahahz.. dunno la..

~ 6/17/2005 12:51:00 PM ~

[bloggin is addictive]

..::BloGgin' iS AdDicTivE::..

somebody help me!!! i need to go into cold turkey already...
i nv used to blog as i tot it would be a waste of time to start one and i tot i wouldn't blog often..

however time has proven me wrong.. now i cant stop bloggin'...!!

today's friday... it has certainly been one very very long week.. but.. guess wad?? i haven touched any study things!?!?! i'm certainly dead.. there's only 1 week left.. or less.. i dun even noe if i'll be having to take my pprs next thurs and fri?!?!

shit.. am i dun even seem to be concerned? i dunno who to ask?!? mark lee?!? but i dun have his no.! and he'd probably give an uncertain ans!?!?

can i juz let go and prepare myself to fail willingly without worries?? im afraid not... as much as i noe i'd not do well..cant cover all topics in time..
i'll still get scared.. worried.. and still not study!?? and i'd probably start stressing myself till i get depression aGaiN~

hai.. y lynne y... y muz i torture myself lidat...
and as i blog... daddy's rite behind me nagging in a very angry tone which gets me all frustrated when i'm already stressed enough!!!! sometimes i juz wanna run away... haiz.. but i dunno where to run too..

i need to go make ic liaoz.. this matter has been creating alot of problems.. lots of tension between me and dad.. cuz he keeps asking me to go make.. while i dun have the time and dun wan to! den we'll both get damn irritated and doors staRt getting sLammEd........all thankz to the bloody thief who stole my wallet and dun even bother to at least send my ic bacK!!!! have u eva wondered how much diSrupTion and unHappinEss u CauSed.. not only me but my family?!?!!!!

wadeva.. bye

~ 6/17/2005 01:05:00 AM ~

[morote haraitoshi]

okay.. i finally noe wad my invented throw is called...
-=Morote Haraitoshi=-

how did i find out?? look at this....
"VJC Judo's Special Technique: Morote Haraitoshi. Shh! Don't Tell Other People."

yes maybe u've guess whose msn nick this belonged too.. but if u dun.. it's blackie'S !!!

found it weirdly familiar.. so i asked him about it.. and yes.. it wAs my special technique... wow.. ThANKz arh.. for promoting it.. -_- "

anw i found out that Morote Haraitoshi is a combination of 3 diff throwing technique!!

Morote Seoinage
Haraigoshi
Taiotoshi

and i tot it was only 2.. ahhahz.. well to be honest.. im not even sure wad those 3 throws are.. ahahz.. only a rough idea la.. since i dunno wad the names of the throws are called... -_-" again...

~ 6/17/2005 12:07:00 AM ~

[BbQ]

k.. so the bbq ain't Too Bad~...

i was pissed at 1st.. and rather upset too...
at 5 i din wanna bother waiting anymore.. so went to lie down and try to nap..

5min later... "ding dong"

a satay delivery came.. and i was like huh?? it was named under han zhen..and i had to take money from my savings to pay... -_-" was angry cuz hz or no one told me bout it...

went back to bed.. not even 10 min... "ding dong" again...

sy, shi han and jeanette arrived 1st... they were like hyper and =)...
i juz couldn't bring myself to be angry or wadeva..

ck and joseph arrived next... and then cedrick, louis, zoel and han zhen..

asked hz bout the satay thing... and he was like shocked too.. say suppose to call him 1st but nv... k den.. suan le loh

it appeared that all of them weren't together.. and they all tot ppl were here already... ok.. shall juz relax and forgive them...

we started preparing for bbq... some marinated the chicken wings.. some tried starting the fire.. some poked the sausages...wahahz... and they were actually quite totful to buy 1 packet of pork sausages for me.. but only ate 3-4 sticks...

yan min came next.. den pei ni, crystal.. zhu hui, beverley...jessica..

yamuna, joshua and joanna came like around 830??! they were suppose to leave Tp at 6?? but only left at 730.. haha..see la.. come late la.. NO FOOD liaoZ....

actually got la.. some more crab sticks.. few sausages.. some satay.. and lots of chicken wings..but u all missed the deep fried chicken and onion rings which my dad cooked! so nice~ mmm...regret not coming early when i asked u to now?? hahaz

ard 10.. while most of the ppl were watching tv.. and some left for home.. i went to clear the things and yam helped. =)..thank you la.. i shant be angry with u anymore ok!?

later on sy came too.. but we cleared most things le.. so yam left.. and me and sy brought some stuff back home to wash..

sy helped to watch some utensils! thankz! tt was very nice of u.. i also washed the dishes and tongs.. im proud of myself!! washing dishes ain't tt bad la.. although it is very ma fan and i was missing 'LOST' !!

later made the guys clear up too.. but i think there wasnt much to clear liao other then bringing in the other stuff...

after everyone left... i offered to sweeped and mopped the floor which was so dirty!! u all dunno how to eat properly wan arh!! tsk tsk.. but dad did it in the end.. haha

~ 6/16/2005 04:45:00 PM ~

Thursday, June 16, 2005

[sad]

haiz.. now its 450 already..
they said they were coming at 4 ?

so im like juz waiting and waiting..

i wanna slp but i dun dare cuz they may turn up any moment..
but it's almost an hour liaoz!! 1 hour can do alot of things wan loh!!!

haiz...

call yam to come to hurry come.. but she's gonna stay in sch with joanna till 6 cuz jo wans to wait for joshua...

i tried being "angry" with yam.. so she got joanna to call me to tell me not to "scold" her..

k.. u all probably think it's funny..
but i very sad k!!! u Dun CARE!!!!

i Dun WANNA haVE bbQ !!!!

the only reason im attending it is cuz u all need pit.. and somehow mine was AvailAble.. and i duMbLy AgreEd to Book it for u all...

aRGh... u all r juz WAsting my time la..no.. it's my fault.. im the One WAsTing mY time...

haiz...

dun come can... cannot rite..
fine.. be as late as possible.. dun disturb me..

bye...

~ 6/16/2005 02:31:00 PM ~

CuTe FattY ele aT nydc!! got alot of toys and the deco's very unique!! :)

~ 6/16/2005 02:30:00 PM ~

=) US =)

~ 6/16/2005 02:30:00 PM ~

the JuDO girLs

~ 6/16/2005 02:29:00 PM ~

duno who thew who =)

~ 6/16/2005 02:28:00 PM ~

lian po under gu xin

~ 6/16/2005 02:17:00 PM ~

shaf trys a counter~

~ 6/16/2005 02:17:00 PM ~

he ji and shafeeq

~ 6/16/2005 02:15:00 PM ~

me trying to throw ps

~ 6/16/2005 02:14:00 PM ~

grrr..me trying to get up!

~ 6/16/2005 02:14:00 PM ~

ps trying to flip me once more

~ 6/16/2005 02:13:00 PM ~

down on the ground AgaIN..~ =(

~ 6/16/2005 02:08:00 PM ~

Bow

~ 6/16/2005 02:06:00 PM ~

nicole and shuting at the FinALS

~ 6/16/2005 02:06:00 PM ~

Woah.. look at this.. blurness shows the speed!

~ 6/16/2005 02:05:00 PM ~

Guy's FinaLs -- KennetH vs He Ji

~ 6/16/2005 02:04:00 PM ~

he ji on top of kenneth..

~ 6/16/2005 02:04:00 PM ~

fiting ps for the 2nd time... i wonder y i was like smiling??? -_-"

~ 6/16/2005 02:00:00 PM ~

CrusHed under pei shaN.. Me~

~ 6/16/2005 01:59:00 PM ~

dick and derrick fiting

~ 6/16/2005 01:59:00 PM ~

dick holding derrick

~ 6/16/2005 01:56:00 PM ~

kenneth throwing gu xing

~ 6/16/2005 01:55:00 PM ~

Gu xin and kenneth.. flying in the air....

~ 6/16/2005 01:54:00 PM ~

WooHOo~ ScAnDaliCouS!

~ 6/16/2005 01:09:00 AM ~

[untitled - simple plan]

Untitled - simple plan
-----------------------------
this is the song playing in the blog..
nicole says it describes judo camp life..
i read the lyrics..
WheRE got?!?!?!?
i tot we love judo wan?? ahhaz
maybe at some point of time ba..
when we're feeling very xin ku..

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

~ 6/15/2005 11:02:00 PM ~

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

[finAl daY of Judo cAMp]

Today was the last day of judo camp..

during day 1 and day 2, camp seemed forever..

now.. at home.. i dun have to worry bout more tortures tml..

i suddenly have this empty feeling..

as much as i 'hate' judo.. the camp.. and stuff we do..

cuz it's so tough..and violent ( wonder where it get's it's name 'rou dao' from)

it's actually quite enjoyable in some sense...

maybe it's the satisfaction u get after accomplishing sth difficult..

or maybe it's the ppl..

nice ppl like dawn,nicole,ami,peishan,shu ting..

i get this warm fuzzy feelin' bout it..

mockable and talkative..ppl like audrey and yuan xiang..

though irritatin at times..adds spice to our conversations...

horrid ppl like.. *** gives me sth to complain about..

i'm kinda missing it now?!?

... weird~?

yea ...

REal weiRd...

actually i wished we could stay over in sch...

so we could be together..

talk..(or gossip?)

it has only juz been 6 hours++ since we parted?!

and im starting to miss ya all already!!

....

...

somehow i'm feelin' kinda lonely now..

at this very moment..

-------------------------------------------------

ok.. shall talk about today's events..

morning gym and pt..

break..

and den the dreadful shiai..

well i nv knew wad shiai was till it happened today..

it was REaL judo competition..

we played bout by bout..

knock out system..

the atmosphere was diff from usual trg..

got the scary feelin'..

except for the fact that ours was a mini one..

especially the girls...

we only have like 5 girls sparring...

dawn couldnt fite..

had an injured toey..

but she came to watch =)

needless to say..

nicole and shuting got into the finals..

nicole 1st..

shuting 2nd..

b4 that, peishan lost to nicole..

and i lost to shuting..

ami was joint 3rd straight away after losing to nicole..

haha.. unfaiR, ami no need suffer extra set!!

lucky amidala! wahah!

i had to fight peishan for joint 3rd..

during the fite..

i was trying as hard as possible to attack..

kept hearing the others shouting at me..

"attAck!! attACK!!"

"lynne aTtaCk !!"

"comE on lynnnEeeeeee~!"

but peishan's real strong and gd..

she won! =)

it was a da kai yan jian la..

from shiai.. i learnt alot of rules which i nv knew..

like tie hair if more than once u'd get shido (penalty)

step onto red area more than 5 sec..shido..

tie belt w/o referee saying.. shido..

lots of weird shidos..

for the guys..

there were so many bouts going on..

he ji's like damn pro la.. he totally trashed blackie!

orange vs brown loh!!

woAh.. and he ji had like fot a few bouts b4 that and blackie none!

but weirdly, even when blackie lost..

he got joint 3rd straight away too?

which i dun uds..

but nvm..

he ji met kenneth in the finals.. and he won..

r PrCs juz pro or r they juz pro?

gu xing and the 2 shaolin monks seem gd too..

after the com.. sensei was to select 2 ppl for each wt catagory for individuals...

for girls, ami and shuting lite wt

middle wt.. nicole..

den he wanted me and pei shan to fite again..

winner would be chosen..

.........

i tot it would have been obvious to choose ps since she won me previously..

but i guess in a way.. it's another chance for me..

was rather reluctant to fite ps..

hai.. din wanna fite anyone in the 1st place..

as in not LiterAlly fite la..

at least trg can still friendly abit..

sad..

so anw i had no choice..

so fot with her..

i think i kinda played defence more..

but got try to attack la..

since if 5 sec u dun attack.. it's shido again..

hahaz..

well.. but i wasnt considering shido at tt time la..

really did try to attack..

somehow juz cant get anything rite la..

and there again i heard the voices shouting

"AtTacK La lyNnee!~"

"wad r u doinG?!?"

"attaCk lA!!"

haiz..
not tt i dun like encouragements..
but that only goes to show how GOOD i was playing..
ha-ha

........

oh well.. i think i did the wrong action again..

cuz after everything..

blaCkie was telling me to swing my leg..

but i tot only ha-rai den swing,

whereas the other ( dunno wad's it called ) is stick out ur leg to trip the person..

blaCkie was like doing this action,

saying a weird combi of the technique..

and asked wad technique it was..

so not really understanding wad he was saying or doing..

i assumed it was sth he invented..

k but i juz malu-ed myself cuz he was doing the thing which i did wrongly!!

ha~ha

so i'm actually the CreAter of that weird throW!?

to think i actually tot he was smart for creating a new throw?!?

it was probably mockery cuz the other guys were luffing..

Ha-HA-HA..

......

went to suntec to lunch with dawn, nicole, yuanxiang and audrey and her friends.. it's her bday today!

hAppy bday!

she's like damn zhai..

get to sua credit card on this special day..

she actually invited the whole judo team la..

but only ended 4 of us going..

we went to nydc..

food was gd.. had oven-baked hawaien rice

potato salad.. nice..

and tiramitsu mud pie!!!

yum yum..

shall ask mum and dad to eat there next time we eat out..

went to shop for her present after that..

only manage to get a pair of ear-rings..

wanted to buy red,hot and sexy thongs for her..

but there wasnt any which was REd, hOt and SexY...

too bad..

hahaz..

----------------------------------------------

haiz.. there's like so many things tml morning

1. go dhs for soccer trg

2. badminton gym

3. pw meeting

i dun feel like going for any.. damn tired..feel like puking..

and im getting the heaT again..

.....................

haiz.. but wad do i say?

oh well.. see how la.. gdnite!

~ 6/14/2005 11:52:00 PM ~

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

[Judo cAMp]

yEs!!! 2nd day of judo camp is finally over!! i'm so damn FReaKin' tired man!! i should Be in BED rITE now..but i wanna blog 1st.. i din get to slp the whole god damn day la!! tried very hard to at breaks.. but juz couldn't..

hmm.. i juz bot this Meiji gummi jelly beanie called PoiFull..
DAMN nice!!!
1st time buy..
cuz i dun really like jelly beans..
but poifull is diff..
it's NIce!!
treated nicole, ami and dawn..
they likeD it too!
yum!
eating it now..
finishing le.. =(
some one buy Poifull for me pleasE?!?!

3 poifull beans left.. erm.. opps.. 2 now..

anw.. Today's judo trg was like the worst i've eva hard..
worst in terms of eveRYThing..
which means the HarDest..
so in other words it gd la..
but it's WAy tOUgh..!!!!!

kk.. was bout 12 mins late this morning.. but HENG they HaveN staRted ground techniques yet.. so din get thrown by kenneth.. i WouldN't let him anw.. wAHaHZ..

did warm ups and rollings all those..
den came the mad parts..
3 laps of prawn-ing..
forward and backwards..
den is 2 times counted as 1 lap..
so.. to me it's like 12 laps of prawn-ing!!
okay.. at least it was still do-able..
next item was like dragging whole body forwards juz by using the arms.. !!!
OUCH..
i hated this moST!!
damn tough..
damn tiring..
worst of all..
it scraped the skin off both my elbows!
now touch water daMn pain! argh!! =(
did lots of other shitty stuff..
but i cant really remember liaoz.. ...

had a short break.. den went back for Tachiwaza.. standing techniques?? nomal stuff.. throws and all.. painful stuff...nvm.. anw was like damn tired after tachiwaza la.. wanted to slp! but had to take the stinking, soaked in sweat gi to for sun-tanning.. k so brought it out to hang...

ARGH..
den the MOst sTUpidIst, eMbarassinG thing happEned to ME!! *ahEm*AhEM* !!
only ami,dawn and peishan noes bout it..
cuz i told them bout it..
i hope no one saw though..
or if see.. beta forget.. ahha..
kaoz.. how suay can i get la..
it was hanging off! haahz..
but i wonder who's worst..
ps's internal.. or mine-external.
both bad la..

after lunch, everybody went back to the dojo to slp!
everyone was damn tired la..
but despite how tired i was..
i only manage to..erm... "sleep"...

at about 3.. sensei started whistling.. as an "alarm clock" to wake us up...

den it wAs time for PT !! ~???!?
ran 5 rounds round the hall, did some sprints.. den did hoping on 1 leg, star jumps and shuttle run...
all these were tiring enough liaoz.. but the worst was yet to comE!
next item was wheelburrow.. but instead of walking with ur hands.. U JUMP!???!? ridiculouS lA! wth.. it's like SO SOsOSosOSOSO Damn harD! den girls had to go the breadth of a badminton court.. reach the end still muz do pushups.. den "JUmP" bacK!!

totally nuts.. although a mere 2 sets may sound easy..woah..i'm telling u man.. it's no way near "a piece of cake"..it's totally crazy la!! holding the person is not easy..the person jumping with hands is far off worST! i dieded doing that.. second set totally dead le.. i was the last one left doing..and my arms kept gaving way.. and i juz like "thuDdeD" on the ground.. knocking my bones.. and getting 2 orhcehs... one on elbow and the other on the hip bone which had 3 spots of blood cots.. and is SupER DuPer painFUL!!! but i pia-ed! i reaLly pia-Ed supER hard la.. encouragement from peers are really impt i guess... it can really make a diff.. hearing so many of them shouting jiayou and come on.. .. i juz couldn't make myself give up no matter how xin ku it was... i was like tearing 1/2way la.. grr..but yay! i actually managed to complete it!! and i felt extremely proud of myself for not giving up.. =) it's has been very long since i pushed myself to that kinda extend..this really impacted me the rest of the day la.. wahahz

after that had gym trg.. but sensei told us to do light light cuz we're all so tired liaoz.. yay.. so do light light.. much easier than normal.. but also still quite tough leh.. maybe cuz we're tireD!? yea muz be la..

hurry do..
hurry finish...
earlier we get to go off..
and finally BatHE!!!
whee!! the water has nv been so inviting before..
i totally juz indulged myself in the showers...
hahahaz..
was the 1st one in and last one out..

went to parkway (as usual ) for dinner.. den cabbed to SA judo sch.. where we had normal judo trg again.. but we were all so damn tired that we pratically slackeD every chance we had.. hahahz...

after trg, me,nicole,ami,dawn,audrey,lian po and shafeeq left together for the mrt.. lian po 1/2 way stopped.. waiting for parents i think.. while the rest of us walked on.. initially lian po was talking with shafeeq.. after he left, audrey like automatically replaced him la!! waHAHZ
NC16 man!!!

we entered the air-con building through a pushing door.. aud went in 1st.. held the door.. shafeeq went in next.. supporting the door.. for himself.. in this case.. anw noRmaL, polite person would deFinitely hold the door for the ppl rite behind him.. bUT no.. deAr BlacKie here din juz do that! u juz let the door go rite infront of nicolE's FACE!! i SAW IT... wad shit la u.. doesnt mean u look like one means u act like one too rite?!?!!? wad eva la.. wadeva im saying now is not cuz im r**ist! but u deserve to get scolded.. even a slap to WAke UP Ur IDeA duDE...~

oh well.. anw me,nicole,dawn and ami went to 7eleven without informing those 2.. let them have 2 ren shi jie.. whaahhaz which was very funny cuz they din call or anything until they reached the mrt..

we insisted for them to leave 1st.. but they said they'll wait..
yea yea.. how sad.. we're giving u the chance but u dunno how to make use of it.. okay la.. nvm.. we'll meet u 2 at the mrt...

brilliant..
juz brilliant..
we couldnt find them at the mrt station..
so dawn called blackie..
and guess wad?!?!?
THEY LEFT..
w/o telling us??
when they saID they would wait?!?!
CRAP ASS...

oh well.. we gotta forgive NC16 rite... since EviL *S* was all around her...
WAHahz

k.. i talk too much..plz dun take all the info for real.. cuz im not in the rite mind at the moment.. i need loads and loads of slp rite now.. tt's prob my only cure!!!

ah!! tml's the last day of camp!! opps.. i mean later?!?! dang! now already 110.. shit.. am i really gonna be late for the 3rd consecutive daY?!?! no!!! i'll proof [U] wROnG!!!

eee.. tml got shiai!! im juz gonna get trashed la.. wadeva.. im aching like nuts now la..
byebye gdnite!

~ 6/12/2005 10:28:00 PM ~

Sunday, June 12, 2005

[DarkNess]

Argh.. help.. i feel like puking.. i really do..
mite noe where i get this nausea feelin' but..
how can it be so serious?!?

wad's wrong with me.. i use to lOve hoRror shows..
well, i still do.. i get excited when i see one.. and will watcH it! or movies too.. will be like
"hey! i wanna watch tt horror moviE =)"

y do i like them so much?
cuz i like the feelin' of getting scared??
or maybe i get scared so easily??

wad's wrong with me this yr??
it's a diff feelin now when i watch the shows...
...i feel sick... traumatised... how come?
it all started with "house of wax"..
it was damn long since i watched a horror movie.. since last yr?
so watched "house of wax"...
i LOVE-d? this kinda freaky shows...but i lost control of myself when i watched "house of wax" !!
i totally freaked out..
even to the extend of grabbing baojie and crying?!?! ..
i wanted to escape.. or rather for the victim in the show to escape..
for the gory moment to stop..
cuz i couldnt take it...
.....

well.. tt was one incident which scared me?
cuz i dun usually do that?!?!
infact i dun remember freaking out lidat that b4!!!
well.. maybe when i was younger..
but even so.. not to that extend..
i really felt sick...

and juz now.. i was watching 'iron ladies'...
at 10, channel 5 showed 'from hell'...
the angishing title did capture my attention... so yea..
watch i did...

....

hmm.. tv said it was premier..
but as i watched.. the show seemed familiar..
i got to the part where the murderer killed the woman..
there was this kit beside him..
not only consisting of diff sharp knifes and blades...
but also sewing stuff?!?! or sth lidat..
so he kills the ppl..does sth to them.. rape or steal their organs??!
cant remember.. din watch further to find out..
and den he covers the body nicely? does he sew them up? or sew the clothes?
im basing on my memory of the show..
I NOE I WATCHED IT B4...
anw if im not wrong.. i think in some part of the show, they would show the ghastly gruesome bloody body... cuz a investigator checked the bodies???!?

i switched away from the show...
somehow i juz couldnt bare myself to see those gory scenes..
weird..
is it some hormonal changes going on or WAD??!
y am i lidat?!!

brother and mum are watching this french show on the dvd player now..
since i decided to stop watching 'from hell' i went outside to see wad the french show was about..
okay.. great..
i was juz in time to watch this scene where this tribal looking guy was screaming in pain...
looking freaked out and pitiful...
and the next moment 2 hooded ppl threw him down a steep jungle cliff???
he rolled and rolled and rolled...
deN I SAW tHAT onE wHole sIde of Him WAs BLoODY...
damn..
gross gross gross..
is this show Bout GORY sTUffs too?!?

couldn't watch further..
came online to blog...

i have come to the conclusion that maybe it's this kinda horror which i cant stand...
not paranormal horror ...
but...huMan hoRror...
....cuting aNd torMenting LivE humans lidat...

yea..
maybe it is...
cuz when like tv programmes such as 'nip-tuck' shows the scenes of operation..

i close my eyes..
....

k another conclusion..
im probably not too gd around
..BLood..

hmm.. but den again..
i've watched 'ghost ship' and 'resident evil' ..
they cut up bodies too..
wire slicing across the necks...
torsos..
so on so forth...
i was cool about it..
so y not now?!?!

~ 6/12/2005 12:33:00 AM ~

[Because of YOu]

Because Of You lyrics-Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you